I’m sitting Waterstones drinking coffee and reflecting.
Working for yourself and spending too much time indoors on your own is really not good for the mindset.
I spend a lot of time by myself and while I love my own company and am rather studious, I recognise the human need signals.
Books were my biggest companions for many years not by choice but by solitude and my energy which gave off all the wrong signals making me easy to exclude and forget about. I dealt with that in all the wrong ways and mostly by pretending I didn’t care until apathetic and fuck you became my new put it out there energy. You’ll be glad to hear I did deal with all these things a long time ago.
Anyway yesterday I’d gone down a rabbit hole. This happens sometimes. I start to think about life and go deep – right into it, examining all the possibilities of each twist and turn. The outside world fades and I’m simply in it and there is no-one about to change my state.
Sometimes it’s great as I come up with some wonderful theories and ideas! But sometimes it feels grey and heavy, like yesterday.
So today I had to get out if the house and get out and about near humans.
When I left the house, I passed a house that was having scaffolding work done and the workman was just about to step out in front if me. Instead he stopped, said ‘after you’ with a big smile on his face. I thanked him and then he said ‘my pleasure, anytime’. Was it flirty? Yes, but politely so and it made me smile… Boom human boost number 1 👊🏼
In town, I went into a bookshop today – they are a passion of mine and I could literary (sorry bad joke) spend hours in them.
When I went to pay for my books, I flicked through a happy looking one that was sitting on the counter (the power of POS). It was a Spike Milligan 2018 diary – The cashier said ‘you can have it as a gift’.
Boom human boost number 2 👊🏼
Of course, we’re in October now but still …
I went for coffee with a friend after and we chatted about grey days and how sometimes we think we are alone in such things, then realise we’re not when we own up and talk about them.
We all have grey days, but it’s good to recognise them and have a plan in place to bring us back into the light – for me that means getting out among real live human beings to get a boost of energy, the kind I can’t get from books.
What do you do?