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I’ll be 57 this year and it’s taken me all this time to do what I was born to do. Why? Well, like so many of us, I started by playing catch up. Life took some awful twists and turns, and I had to learn to roll with the punches. This meant working to earn to not to enjoy. I think this is typical of a lot of us, we don’t do what comes naturally, we do what we have to for money.
I spent those years in office jobs, putting a roof over my own head at an early age and then keeping one over the head of myself and my son eventually, after a bout of homelessness. Life was pretty stressful most of the time and I frequently self-medicated with alcohol. I’d come from a dysfunctional place and had no idea how to get to the normality one. Originally I’m from the East End of London and I’d grown a bit savvy, so I learn quick and I did ok in the corporate world, running that rat race and keeping up with the pack … but then I got ill. A debilitating illness that my doctor said was in my head. I knew it wasn’t, but it took me 4 years to get anyone to listen. Many tests later and through a smart Bupa radiologist, the problem was diagnosed and I went under the knife.
When I woke up in my private BUPA room surrounded by Laura Ashley, I knew something was dreadfully wrong. But my consultant said he knew best and sent me home with a dismissal of his hand. There, I spent a week screaming and when I couldn’t scream anymore, I phoned him. He tutted and sent me to A&E. They admitted me as it just so happens my consultant had accidentally cut a bit of me inside and I’d been bleeding internally for a week. So, I had a second operation and when I woke up covered in drips & drains and surrounded by blue plastic screens in my NHS ward, I knew something was not quite right again. Turns out this time, he’d ‘nipped my artery’ – you know, the big one that runs through your heart? Yeah, the aorta. But it was ok he said because he had sewed it back up again. I think you will understand why that was a life defining moment for me and why that year, I convinced my 18-year-old son that we should pack up our lives and move abroad to live in a whitewashed villa by the sea.
I had no idea at that time I would meet and marry a native and that I’d be surrounded by the largest, craziest family who would love the pain of the past out of me and dissolve the dysfunction. He gave me that family, I gave him business acumen and between us we built a good life. Ten beautiful years that lasted and then it was time for me to return to the UK with memories and a family I could return to forever should I wish to, even though we were now lovingly divorced.
When I stepped back on British soil, I met with an entrepreneurial revolution and the corporate I’d known now looked like a faded chintz sofa. But I was in my fifties then and I knew the pickings would not be good at my age, so I danced on the edge of the entrepreneurial world using my transferable life skills and experience. Back in Turkey, as well as owning a real estate business, I’d founded a charity, written a newspaper column and a blog and a book about my adventures. I’d also written & directed 5 theatre scripts. Writing has featured heavily in my life from the deranged poetry I wrote in the children’s home to the cathartic books I’d started about my life, but never finished … thank god. So, I set up a copywriting business, freelanced a bit in business coaching and bounced around around not really knowing where I fit. My marriage was done, my son was grown and there was just me. I had no idea how to be just me. I’d spent a life battling for things, not chilling and learning about myself. I was used to problem solving and fixing issues for others – how the hell did I know what I needed or what I actually wanted to do?
That’s when my journey began to take shape and all the pieces sprang into action. I say sprang, but it was more of a slow crawl, like they were waking up after a very long sleep. Unfolding their convoluted limbs and allowing me to trace their roots back to the origins….
You see, up until the age of 13, I was raised by my Grandparents. Ellen, a bright and beautiful adventurer struck down with Rheumatoid Arthritis and imprisoned within a cage of gnarled and twisted limbs. And Harry the sole survivor of his WW2 regiment who returned from war to care for her. I watched her pain and his gifts as he tried to heal her with the medicine he understood … food. Food is fuel & medicine – I’ve known it my whole life and taken it for granted that everyone knew it too. That was key number 1, but it didn’t quite open the box on its own.
Key number 2 was more physical. No matter what was going on in my life, I’ve always done is some kind of exercise. Dance and gymnastics as a child. Netball, weight training, kickboxing, yoga as an adult. In Turkey I let that slide and the pounds crept on. Realising that, I returned to sport, but then I damaged my Achilles which rendered me incapable of much physical activity and, susceptible to even more pounds. The massive upheaval of leaving my husband, family, friends and everything I’d built and known for ten years added to the changes that were about to take place in me…
Realising sport was not an option, I returned to yoga practice, something I’d gone to adult college for years before. When I first started again, I would yoga and cry at my inability to get my foot anywhere near my knee as I attempted to sit cross legged. I would cry as I bent into a downward facing dog and felt my belly hang down. Crying became part of my yoga practice and I know now that I was crying at the state I’d got myself into and loss. The loss of my flexibility, slim body, life as I’d known it, family, country and every god damn thing I could think of. I cried a lot, then kicked myself up the arse because I’m made of much stronger stuff and if you’re reading this now, I want you to know, so are you.
Enough. I took myself on a life changing trip to the Himalayas and enrolled in Yoga School to get my bendy back. I cut myself off from everything else and totally submerged myself into me. I felt my body reawaken and breathe a sigh of relief as it knew that finally, I was coming home.
When I got back to the UK in my hippy pants and full of yogi knowledge, I knew I could have a viable business helping people regain their health and their mojo by bringing together all of my skills, all of my life learnings and all of my natural gifts … what are they and how do they fit in? Well, I hope you’re ready for this…
Key number 3 is one you can’t see. I grew up in a house that hosted mediums, tealeaf readers and fairies who danced on my bed. I went through life feeling the energy of people past and not knowing what to do with it, but what developed through it was an instinct so strong that I’m pretty sure someone is whispering in my ear.
My spirituality is innate. It’s been there always in this life and the ones before that. Please, don’t tar me here with a woo woo brush. There’s no woo woo here. I’m a Pagan, a child of mother earth with finely tuned senses and a massive bullshit radar. According to the seers, shamans, tarot readers and mediums I have met in my life, I have the gift … I knew that. But I choose not to use it in a conventional medium kind of way and that is ok, because that’s not my karmic job. Instead I channel from a higher level. A higher consciousness of good, love and light. This is channelling at it best and we are all able to do it. It’s a vast resource of pure energy that you can tap into for healing. This is what I have done forever and will continue to do through each and every life. I just hope it doesn’t take me 57 years next time. Still, I’m really grateful that we live in a time where we can be open and talk about such things without too much ridicule, or a damn fine burning at the stake.
We are biological creatures living on a biosphere. We are part of the ecosystem of this planet and as such we are reliant on it as it is us. Once we were guardians of the planet but it’s clear we’ve not done a very good job of late. It seems that all of the knowledge our ancestors had acquired on plant medicine, energy, spirituality and living in unison with our surroundings has not been handed down to everyone. Instead our race has looked towards technology and progress, creating a man-made world and suffocating the natural one we belong to. I believe it’s time to take that power back. To tune ourselves back in. To align with Schuman’s resonance, Mother Nature’s medicine, ancient wisdom and our own energy to live healthy, happy and long lives as we were meant to. This is key number 4, the key to healing. We are being overrun with cancers, unexplained illnesses, auto immune diseases and mental health issues that are directly related to what we have been feeding on and living in – that and highly contagious viruses that are feeding and growing in number because we are not eating the right foods to overthrow them.
Four master keys that help unlock our potential to heal the mind, body & spirit.
I use mine to provide my people with yoga routines that fit their bodies, recipes, meal plans, energy clearing & rebalancing, meditations, CBT, support and understanding. And I use all of my knowledge, skills, experience and instinct to help you recover, to lose weight, change your mindset, beat illness & disease, relax, sleep, believe in yourself, feel better, align yourself with your true vibration and to see yourself, love yourself and be yourself … this is all about healing on every level.
No, I do not have all the answers, but I do have an ancient set of keys, a hell of a lot of patience, a never-ending source of love and the ability to open a channel that will help you overcome whatever it is that’s holding you back.
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